About Life Lessons
Never say always in life, my friends
Three years ago I learned a hard life lesson I will never forget. I learned to not use the word “always” when I speak about the future, especially when it comes to things in life I have no control over.
“He’ll ALWAYS have my back.”
“He’ll a l w a y s be there for me.”
“This will aLwAyS be special.”
Bullshit. Nothing in life is an “always.” Nothing in life is certain of anything. Trust me on this one.
Three months ago I learned a new important life lesson I will never forget. To not say “never” about absolutely anything in life I have no control over. Damn, maybe even the things I do have control over.
“He can bring motherfucking Nick Jonas to my front door, I’ll NEVER have him back in my life.”
“I’ll n e v e r trust him again.”
“We’ll nEvEr get the chance to explain this shit storm we created between us.”
Guess what, ladies and gentlemen? “Always” and “never” have been officially banned from my vocabulary.
Mr. BFF and I finally met again. You would think the very first time we see each other in years would be just like a Hallmark movie scene, where the main characters are finally back home for Christmas or whatever holiday event they need to be a part of and just reconnect after years of not speaking bla, bla, bla. Right?
You might think that we met each other in our old hometown, in the same street we kissed for the first time, in which — THE IRONY — his family now lives, and you would think I saw him a few yards away and just sprinted, zero fucks given about COVID (sorry mom) and hugged him straight away. Right?
If you think that, you are absolutely fucking right. It was cliché just like that.
I took that kid back quicker than you can say “Karoline is an idiot.” No Nick Jonas needed. Yeah yeah yeah, you might think I am indeed an idiot. But I’m a happy idiot tough. When was the last time you got a second chance at being a happy idiot with a soulmate in your life?
Don’t take me wrong, the way I see this soulmate thing is VERY different than most people do. In two weeks, Mr. BFF and I are gonna go back to living thousands of miles away from each other and I have no plans to fuck my life up because of him anymore. It’s not like I’m gonna marry the guy (come back here and punch me in the face if I do). But even through the millions of changes both of us endured these past three years — going from our late 20s to early 30s, me moving to 494830 different cities/countries, him getting married (ops, forgot to mention that didn’t I? My bad), anyways, even through all of life’s highs and lows, here we are again. I see his eyes spark when he tells me about his first impressions on new family members. We both take deep breaths when we talk about life’s past traumas. We laugh about the stupid shit we used to do when we were 16. And even though we both felt the heaviness of past strikeouts, it is the absolute home runs we are hitting now that we focus on.
I probably won’t get into too much detail about what happened the day we saw each other. There’s too much to still unpack of the 17-hour-long emotional marathon we ran that day. But I’ll tell you guys one thing: life is short, none of our “always” are guaranteeed. None. Neither are our “nevers.” So hug the person you miss the most in your life. If you can’t, call them. If you can’t, sort the shit you still have to sort inside yourself and just forgive them, forgive yourself, forgive the universe. Stop cursing them for forcing you to learn the lessons you so desperately needed to learn. Allow yourself to feel the lightness of not having one single thing stopping you from being the absolute best version of yourself. The version that is so sure of itself, the version that would take the biggest “always,” the strongest “nevers” you have ever said to yourself and make something beautiful out of them.
Go. Do it. Now. I promise you you won’t regret it.
Meanwhile, Mr. BFF and I will be here chatting about how crazy it is to finally be able to hug each other in person, while knowing whole-heartedly that it isn’t crazy at all. It was always meant to be this way.
And yes, I’m waiting for Taylor Swift to call anytime now to write a whole album about this story. Will keep y’all posted.
Love,
Me (an idiot, I know)
Quick P.S. from Mr. BFF himself after reading this: “we should all be an idiot,” he said.
See?
